Bobcast Ep. 9 – Transformers: Less Than Meets the Eye

Sorry, couldn't find a picture of Michael Bay giving us all the finger.

On episode 9 of the Bobcast, Bob and Pete literally break down while breaking down how awful Transformers: Dark of the Moon was. The guys also discuss the news of the week, including the Waltsicle’s newest ride/blockbuster, how the filming of World War Z is going, and pray for the grisly demise of Tom Cruise . . . in the latest Mission Impossible.

Guide to Episode 9

0:00 – Intro

05:50 – Dangerous Entertainment News of the week

33:00 – Transformers: Dark of the Moon Review (spoilers)

1:16:45 – Outro

Don’t forget to check us out on iTunes where you can download or subscribe to the ‘cast (http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-bobcast/id436702751 ).  Hey, why not do both?

By the by, if you like the podcast, dislike the podcast, or would like to see us talk about something in particular, let us know.  Either comment below or hit us up on Twitter @BobDanger or @PCharbonneau21.  We are always listening, so thank you for doing the same.

Green Lantern Review

Entertainment? That's pushing just a bit.

“Heeeeeey Lisa?” “Yeah, Moose?”

Remember ‘You Can’t Do That on Television?” What a great fucking show that was. Produced by Canadians, no less! What’s that all aboot?

‘YCDTOTV’ was entertaining, witty and some of the best kid’s programming you could ask for in the 80s. And you know you still know the names: Alasdair, Kevin Kubusheskie (I looked it up), Barth, the firing squad captain who ended up getting shot in every skit… classic stuff.

Of course every episode you’d wait for the glorious moment when one of the kids would be asked a question they didn’t know the answer to. The anticipation would cause me to start chewing on the late 70′s fiber-coated couch in my basement where my dad had hooked us up with our spiffy illegal cable box. Remember when you could actually illegally steal cable? Salad days, my friends.

Bobcast Ep. 8 – It Ain’t Easy Being Green Lantern

No Blake, don't look back. Just get as far away as possible.

In episode 8, Bob and Pete review Green Lantern and how they may have fallen out of hetero-man-love wth Ryan Reynolds. The guys also discuss how they’ve beaten the odds, how everything Will Smith touches turns to crap, and Jean Claude Van Damme’s triumphant, yet chilly return.

Guide to Episode 8

0:00 – Intro

01:30 – Dangerous Entertainment News of the week

42:45 – Green Lantern review

1:17:30 – Outro

Don’t forget to check us out on iTunes where you can download or subscribe to the ‘cast (http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-bobcast/id436702751 ).  Hey, why not do both?

By the by, if you like the podcast, dislike the podcast, or would like to see us talk about something in particular, let us know.  Either comment below or hit us up on Twitter @BobDanger or @PCharbonneau21.  We are always listening, so thank you for doing the same.

Bobcast Episode 007 – What Up Holmes?

Dear Guy Ritchie, Piss off.

In episode 007 of the Bobcast, Bob and Pete discuss the news of the week and how incredible the BBC’s Sherlock: Series 1 truly is. The guys also get around to discussing Aronofsky’s proposed biblical Black Swan on a boat, board games being made into movies, revisiting The Room, and of course Somali pirates.

Don’t forget to check us out on iTunes where you can download or subscribe to the ‘cast (http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-bobcast/id436702751 ).  Hey, why not do both?

By the by, if you like the podcast, dislike the podcast, or would like to see us talk about something in particular, let us know.  Either comment below or hit us up on Twitter @BobDanger or @PCharbonneau21.  We are always listening, so thank you for doing the same.

Good News: Hollywood Blockbusters Sink to New Record Low

Shit, we're already overbudget. Damn you ILM!!!

For those of you out there that might be thinking, “Is he talking about Aronofsky’s recently announced biopic of Noah and the ark?” No, but you get bonus points if that’s what you honestly thought this was about. Amazingly, this is about something much more hilarious. The good folks over at Hitfix and specifically the great Drew McWeeny have broken the story that the Atari game Asteroids is being developed into a film. Now, you are probably asking yourself, “Who would be the perfect person to helm what will surely be Hollywood’s great new property?” None other than Roland Emmerich, the king of shitty Hollywood blockbusters, is their front-runner for the gig. Oh, sweet Hollywood, just when I think you are getting your shit together you go and do something so amazing that you make me cry tears of joy. Not only do you never learn your lesson with people like Emmerich, the Wachowskis, and the emperor himself, Michael Bay, but you continue to run out of original ideas and as such are forced to plum the depths of properties that nobody in their right mind would have ever thought would be put on film.

For those that are unfamiliar, Asteroids is about as uninteresting a game as they come. It is an action packed tale of a triangular spacecraft that fires white dots at various sized (yup, you guessed it) asteroids attempting to keep them from hitting the ship. The ship can and does move around the screen and can turn in 360 degrees. Are you hard/wet yet? Yeah, me neither. Asteroids has no story except for the ship avoiding the titular “villains”, it comes in two colors (black and white) and is something that most people could probably program on a TI-85 calculator. By the way, do they still make those or are they past the 100’s at this point? Naturally, this lends itself well to being made into a film. If I had to go out on a really long and thin limb, I would venture to guess that Emmerich is looking at about a $100 million budget and the story will center around a number of asteroids heading towards Earth and the brave new spaceship and crew that are launched to stop it. Yeah, like Armageddon or Deep Impact (the film, not the porno) only with a hundred times more asteroids!!!!!!!! Are you hard/wet now? Nah, me neither.

Admittedly, this is definitely something that I do not have a hard time seeing Hollywood doing, despite the fact that it would have made an EXCELLENT Onion article as well. They must be pretty pissed right now and who can blame them? I’m pissed because they didn’t go with making a live-action version of Frogger instead. I mean, who wouldn’t have gone to see that? It’s still hard to believe that this is actually happening, but a fella can hope.

Bobcast Ep. 5: Men or X-Men

C'mon, like you expected something else?

In episode 5, Bob and Pete discuss the movie X-Men:First Class (no spoilers) and where it ranks in the superhero genre. The guys also discuss the news of the wek, including The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo’s trailer (say that five times fast), square off on the raging debate of Jennifer Lawrence vs. Rose Byrne, and try and decipher Michael Ironsides vs. the Cat in the Hat.

Don’t forget to check us out on iTunes where you can download or subscribe to the ‘cast (http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-bobcast/id436702751 ).  Hey, why not do both?

By the by, if you like the podcast, dislike the podcast, or would like to see us talk about something in particular, let us know.  Either comment below or hit us up on Twitter @BobDanger or @PCharbonneau21.  Thanks for listening.

Bridesmaids Review

Bonus Byrne

Here’s the main thing that you need to know about Bridesmaids; it is not a chick flick. It is a comedy that should be enjoyed by anyone that enjoys good comedy and not the type that enjoys redneck jokes. Bridesmaids was written by Kristen Wiig who has not only become one of our funniest females, but also one of the most prolific. Seriously, check out her IMDB page and she is everywhere. Well, her  career is about to detonate; as in blow up; as in a good way. Bridesmaids is an ensemble comedy along the lines of Old School or Anchorman and while it is not quite up to that level, it is very funny. The first half especially has a number of hilarious moments and one scene that will cause you to pee yourself, but just a little. The second half is focused more on developing the story as opposed to the comedy, but that is to be expected. The story itself is fairly typical for a comedy, but it does not detract from the overall enjoyment of the film. Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, and Maya Rudolph are hilarious while Rose Byrne plays the foil to Wiig nearly perfectly. There are very few male roles in this one, but Jon Hamm is also great as Wiig’s asshole fuck-buddy and Chris O’Dowd is great in the funny, nice guy role.  Overall, a very good comedy and definitely rewatchable.

Bob’s grade – 81%

To ‘Bridesmaids’ or not to ‘Bridesmaids’?That is the question being asked by dozens of totally, completely 100% heterosexual males across the country as they grapple with the notion of attending what has been labeled a ‘funny chick flick’ or ‘raunchy female comedy’. And while ‘The Hangover II’ bowed this week with a warm, loving, still totally hetero embrace, as if to say “It’s ok guys, I’m here now. Shhhhh… there there,”  it still can’t compete in the one area that’s required of most successful comedies. Namely, the comedy.

‘Bridesmaids’ is both unique and familiar at the same time. It’s a pretty standard formula: funny, likeable lead (Kristen Wiig, sporting some killer delivery that carries several scenes) proceeds to fuck things up for herself and her best friend’s wedding and must overcome her jealousy over said friend’s new bestie (Rose Byrne. Hell yes) and put things right in time for the closing credits. Throw in the nice guy (Chris O’Dowd) waiting in the wings for her to figure herself out, and you can probably guess where it’s all headed. ‘Wedding Crashers’ pretty much created the modern template.

The fact that this formula has really not been done as a female-centric vehicle before is where the uniqueness come through. That in itself would probably only render ‘Bridesmaids’ a novelty if it weren’t for the talents of the women assembled. Wiig, who co-wrote the script, is the obvious standout, and her familiarity with Maya Rudolph makes for some great easy chemistry on screen. Byrne, who aside from being ridiculously hot, is able to seamlessly inhabit characters of different styles and genres and she plays the self-centered, bitchy, condescending, manipulative yet ultimately vulnerable Helen to perfection. I’d also argue that as the delightfully dirty Jackie Q she was the only funny thing about ‘Get Him to the Greek’. She’s also starring as Moira McTaggart in the upcoming ‘X-Men’ flick, and… where the hell was I?

The rest of the bridesmaid party is solid, especially Melissa McCarthy, cousin of Jenny apparently, who plays Megan as a former bullied girl-turned self-sure Viking conqueror and steals nearly every scene she’s in. The guys in this movie don’t have a ton to do, but that’s in keeping with the formula. O’Dowd is likeable enough, but to get a true gauge on his talent, check out his British comedy ‘The IT Crowd’ or recent indie flick ‘Pirate Radio’. Mad man Jon Hamm turns in a good bit part as the self-absorbed asshole that’s banging Wiig’s Annie at the movie’s start – literally.

Director Paul Feig of ‘Freaks & Geeks’ and ‘Arrested Development’ fame, knows his way around comedy set-pieces and isn’t really called upon to do much but steer this ship right into the comedy iceberg and he does so successfully.

‘Bridesmaids’ is a fun time at the movies. It provides a bit of a nipple twist on the standard raunchy Bromance comedy and delivers the goods. Now that it’s offered a slightly new perspective in the comedy realm, I’m sure Hollywood will show some restraint and not start producing knockoff after knockoff. Who are we kidding? See you back here in one year’s time for ‘Bridesmaids, Too’!

And for those bros out there still on the fence? Just know that Zach Galifianakis is the only funny thing about ‘The Hangover Part II’. Go watch some Between Two Ferns or Tairy Greene videos on YouTube instead and save your money. You’re welcome.

Pete’s grade – 82%

Pete’s bonus Hangover 2 score – 28%

Consider me . . . Interested

Sure, I'll watch your kids. My van's right over there.

Anyone else here Lost fans (spoiler alert)?  I was for a good long time until it unceremoniously fell off the rails in the last few season before careening into a religious ravine in the finale.  I realize that some people are ok with how it ended and while I appreciate everybody’s opinion, you’re wrong.  Just kidding.  You’re just misguided.  Just kidding.  You just have horrible taste in TV.  Just kidding.  Ok, seriously, I could go on all day, but really I don’t have a problem with those those that enjoyed how Lost ended, I just disagree.  I thought the first three seasons were as strong as any television show that I’ve ever seen.  When season 3 ended with flash forwards of Jack rather than flashbacks, it was honestly one of the best season finale’s that I had (and have) ever seen.  I thought the sky was the limit and obviously it was, but in a more literal sense.  Did you get that jab at God?  No?  Moving on.

In any event, one of the coolest parts of lost was the character of Ben played by Michael Emerson.  He was an extremely well-written, layered, and well-acted character that took the show to another level entirely.  So it makes me extremely happy to hear that he will be coming back to TV this fall in a show just picked up by CBS called Person of Interest.  AICN has the full scoop here (click here for scoop), but it is a drama starring Emerson as a billionaire who hires and ex-CIA hitman to help him clean up crime.  Oh and by the way, it is created by Jonathan Nolan who co-wrote a little movie called The Dark Knight (maybe you’ve heard of it?) and produced by Bad Robot, owned of course by Double J Abrams.  This show has all the makings of a very watchable TV drama, so let’s just hope that they don’t fuck it up.

Bob out.

The Movie Super as a Homonym

To be fair, I’m a little behind the ol’ eight ball on this one.  James Gunn’s Super has been making the rounds for a while now, having debuted at SXSW (if I’m not mistaken) a couple of months back.  It was one of those movies that I had been waiting to see and just never made it to for one reason or another.  As I was cruising through my On Demand last weekend looking to kill 90 minutes, I was pleasantly surprised to stumble onto Super in the “Same Day as Theaters” section.  How is Gunn’s latest work?  Well, it’s pretty effing good.

Seriously, why won't crime shut up?

The film stars Rainn Wilson as a down on his luck short order cook who may or may not be partially insane.  His wife, played passably by Liv Tyler, bored out of her mind at being married to a less interesting version of Dwight Shrute, decides to leave him for a drug dealer played by the always entertaining Kevin Bacon.  Two quick thoughts here.  One, Liv Tyler’s best work was in the very underrated Empire Records and ever since she has settled into a quiet-voiced character in each of her films that do not detract, but do not really enhance any of them.  Secondly, Kevin Bacon is the shit.  Honestly, couldn’t we all use a little bit more Kevin Bacon in our lives?  Not all of his films are world-beaters, but you have to admit that each of them are better off for having a side of Bacon.  In Super, Wilson’s character is inconsolable after Tyler leaves him and he ultimately decides to become a real life crime fighter after seeing a vision of a hilariously clad Nathan Fillion help God touch his brain.  Some of the more hilarious parts of the movie come after Wilson’s Crimson Bolt discovers the positive effects of weaponry and begins clubbing people over the head with a pipe wrench.  Gunn has a background in horror with his work with Troma, Dawn of the Dead, and the underrated Slither.  Here he wields this mastery well in adding more blood and gore for comedic value than most super hero movies ever see.  It is hilarious and culminates in Wilson’s assault on Kevin Bacon’s mansion at the end in which his arsenal of guns, pipe bombs, and wrist launchers makes for a pretty entertaining climax.

I have to say though, my favorite part of Super was his sidekick Boltie, played by Ellen Page.  First off, in my opinion Ellen Page has gotten a lot of crap since she rocked Juno and for me it is completely unfounded.  First off, Juno is a very good movie and Page is the best part of it.  If it reached a point of over-saturation and public opinion swayed into the overrated zone, then so be it, but the movie is good and Page is great.  Like Bacon, do I love every movie she has been in?  No.  I do think that she has added something to every movie that I have seen her in though and that certainly is the case with Super.  Rainn Wilson is perfect as the film’s protagonist and Kevin Bacon is at his best as the villain, but secretly the thing that makes Super super is Page.  She portrays Boltie as a young woman that clearly has some issues and may be sociopathic, but is hilarious nonetheless.  She is the variable that adds that extra kick to Super.  So, moral of the story, lay off Ellen Page America.

Overall, Super is a low-budget indie that succeeds in a number of ways.  The casting of the film is pitch-perfect, the script is great, and the direction is spot on.  Did I just say spot on?  Moving on.  At its core, Super is about a lot of things.  It’s about the super hero comedy done right.  It’s about extremely complicated people and their figuring out what makes them happy.  It’s about making a difference in the world.  Mostly though, it’s about a director, a film crew, and a group of actors that made something just for the sake of art. Make no mistake about it, Super is a labor of love and will never make anyone involved with it a millionaire.  So do Super a favor and go check it out in the theater or On Demand.  It’s a pretty awesome little movie that deserves to be seen and appreciated.  It’s . . . well . . . super.

Bob’s grade – 80%

Zoe Saldana is a smoking hottie

Ok, so moment of full-disclosure; I’ve always had kind of a hard-on for assassin movies. I mean, I’m not alone in that right? Right? When I was a kid I fully morphed back and forth between playing the straight shooter good guy and the greyed-out loaner/bounty hunter/assassin kind. I would like to call that the Han Solo complex. Hitmen are just cool as shit. It’s not subjective. One of my favorite movies of all time is The Profesional with Jean Reno, Gary Oldman, and Natalie Portman. In my opinion, it is also one of the most under-appreciated films of all time. Make no mistake, it is a film. Luc Besson has not turned into the director that I hoped he would after the Professional, but still as filmmakers go he has an excellent eye. His most recent venture is producing Colombiana starring a kick-ass, smoking hot Zoe Saldana. Seriously, watch the trailer below and I dare you not to be impressed. Plus, for once it’s ok for me to have a hard-on for assassins. Woohoo!

Colombiana Muey Traileroso

Zoe = Woh-ee