My My, It’s American Pie . . . Again

You mean they were able to sign everybody? Wow, what a coup!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Guess what’s getting another undeserved sequel?  Yup, the American Pie franchise (courtesy of ComingSoon.net) is getting a fourth installment.  Now, the first one was actually funny and well-made and I know a number of people that enjoyed it.  It made way more money than anyone ever envisioned it making and naturally it sent us down this horrible sequel spiral which I thought had ended with American Wedding, but apparently was horribly horribly wrong.  Hey, at least we get more Katrina Bowden right?  Ug, not even that can cheer me up and I love Katrina Bowden.

The newest iteration is titled American Reunion and (going out on a limb here) I am guessing centers around the “gang’s” ten year high school reunion.  I don’t know anyone that is the least bit interested in revisiting these characters at this juncture, but far be it from Hollywood to stop pumping out the holy trinity; reboots, remakes, and sequels.  Got a hole to fill?  Let’s see what properties we can dust off out of the closet.  In all fairness to the studio, American Reunion is probably a much easier film to make this time around because literally nobody from the first three films have been the least bit successful.  Ok, I should add that Alyson Hannigan actually has carved out a nice little TV career for herself and is enjoyable on How I Met Your Mother.  Eugene Levy is a quality talent as well, but after he saw his popularity rise with American Pie, he quickly saw it dip back down to its lackluster levels with less than excellent choices such as The Man and Bringing Down the House.  Jason Biggs?  Have you seen his new show Mad Love?  It’s painful to watch with the exception of Tyler Labine and it is not a mystery why it was canceled after only one season.  Mercy killing if you ask me.  Hey, how’s Tara Reid doing you ask?  Let’s just say that her biggest mistake was NOT making a sex tape and leaking it to anyone that could sit through it.  Oh hey, somehow they managed to get Chris Klein back in this one despite the fact that he would not sign on for American Wedding.  First off, what the hell was Chris Klein up to that he was too big for American Wedding?  It’s not a trick question.  The answer is nothing.  How exactly are they going to explain the fact that he missed Jason Biggs entire wedding, bachelor party, etc, but blows back into town for a ten year high school reunion?  Fortunately, series like American (Insert anything here to create sequel) do not need to rely on things like continuity or storytelling to put a film together.  Seriously though, think about how cheap it must have been to put this all-star cast together?  They must have gotten everybody combined for about a million dollars.  Honestly, can you think of a movie that had to so intricately put together its cast and have it be this unimpressive?  It is the exact opposite of Oceans 11.  Can’t wait.

Allow me one last rant about this.  Not only has American Pie gone on to make three shitty sequels, but it has somehow placed itself into the title of the new National Lampoon’s.  What this means is that in addition to making real films, they also release whatever shitty peripheral stories they can come up with.  Check out this list: American Pie Presents: Beta House, American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile (which is a NATIONAL LAMPOON Van Wilder idea by the way), American Pie Presents: The Book of Love, American Pie Presents: Stiffler in Heat, American Pie Presents: Band Camp.  Only one of those is a fake, but can you tell which one without looking it up?  Guess what else?  Poor Eugene Levy is in all of them.  Oh how the mighty have fallen.

In any event, this is just one extreme example of how Hollywood continues to fill holes with cheap and shitty retreads.  Cheap, I fully understand, but why not spend that money on an original idea with a low-budget cast?  There is good material everywhere that is being ignored by studios and the major networks, then gobbled up as independent films or by innovative networks like AMC and HBO.  With online and on-demand content being as popular as ever (and growing), the model for film/tv distribution is changing.  It is time for the studios to re-think their models or to start getting left behind.

Along these lines, stay tuned for a much longer piece this weekend on Warner Brothers purchase of Flixster (you may not have heard of it yet, but you will very soon) and Rotten Tomatoes.  They have some very interesting ideas about how to shape their world and business moving forward.  Until then, Bob out.